an open letter to the class of 2020

 to my fellow seniors

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oh dear friends,

i am weeping with you. 

i feel the heartbreak of this season almost everyday. 

and i too am weeping with you.

i ache for my childhood best friends and my classmates from not only northfield, but from kennedy and holy angels too.
i remember the schools that have shaped me and the first day feeling i had not once, but three times. each time thinking, i am on the road to where i am meant to be. 

i am on the road to where i am meant to be. 

i think fondly of the friendships i cherished in ninth grade and the memories i made in 10th grade acting class. the waffle surprise half birthday party my sweet friends threw me as a junior and the first date i went on with my cute boy as a senior. 

these things are on my heart more than ever. 

i am cherishing the wonderful more than ever. 

but i also know the pain here. 

i know the heartbreak of this season, as it comes and goes in waves. like this morning when i saw my graduation dress hanging in my closet and i stood there for a moment longer than usual, tears welling up in my eyes. 

the reality of this hurts.

the reality of this is hard to accept. 

the reality of this is so incredibly up in the air and that alone is terrifying. 

the reality of this is we are missing a lot. 

so much more than i could ever list here. 

there have been so many tears shed.

there have been so many broken hearts and disappointing moments. 

i have been terribly sad, and maybe you have too. 

but oh, my sweet senior friends, 

all i can say is this. 

we are all grieving the loss of this together. the loss of thousands of little moments and big moments just the same. hugs and hi's in the hallways and driving to school with our music turned up. talking to teachers and eating lunch on a blanket with our cherished friends. cancelled trips and the uncertainty of prom and graduation. 

we are all grieving the loss of this together. 

and even in our hurt, we can find comfort in that fact. 

we can find comfort in the fact that we are surrounded by listening ears and people that adore us and classmates that understand. 

we can find comfort in the fact that we are loved by a God that knows us by name. 

 a God that sees our hearts and sees our hurt and gives us grace day after day. 

truly friends, 

there is so much comfort to be found here. 

even in the heartbreak,

even in the unknown.

there is comfort

and there too, can be joy. 

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tonight when i open my closet and see my graduation dress, i will take it out, i will put it on. 

 i will go outside and dance in the driveway. 

thinking to myself, "there is joy here."

there is joy here. 

xx, gracie